Donkey Kong Country Review

The Super Nintendo is one of the greatest consoles ever created. You can find platformers, role-playing games, shooters of every kind, sports games—everything under the sun was attempted, with varying degrees of success. Even with all of that competition, this subtext-filled game about a pedophile monkey and his underage partner (or maybe they’re just platonic friends, it’s hard to tell with monkeys) looking for their stolen “banana stash” is a major standout, and for all the right reasons. Read more →

Earthbound Review

Earthbound: You beat crazed hippies to death with a baseball bat, chase ghosts out of tunnels with blues music, and stop by a department shop for cold medicine on the way. Read more →

Final Fantasy 6 Review

Final Fantasy 6 is one of the games that destroyed my life. Whereas I was on track to be a productive member of society, this game became such an obsession that I neglected schoolwork growing up. It’s amayzing I turnd out soh smart, rilly. Read more →

Breath of Fire 2 Review

Breath of Fire 2 improves upon the formula of its predecessor, weaving a fairly surprising story into a world that feels much more alive. Not only that, but the evil forces at work have learned that omitting punctuation is genuinely frightening. I know I cringe whenever I fail to see a sentence ended with a period. Evil cares not for grammar. Read more →

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