Most games out there have an upside and a downside. Lifeline is exclusively downsides, proving to be such a horrible experience that it’s not only the worst mobile game I’ve ever “played” (let’s not kid ourselves—this is barely an actual game), but the worst I’ve ever had the misfortune of fighting my way through, period. It’s so bad that I ran out of characters in my notes despite this usually only happening with complex games that necessitate long-winded explanations, and Lifeline is most definitely not one of those. No, Lifeline is a lazy art project where you have all the fun of waiting in a freemium game combined with the joys of awkward Twitter conversation and decisions that don’t actually affect anything. There are just no words that accurately convey how awful this app is, though I’ll take a stab at it if only to ward off some of its potential victims. Be sure to keep in mind that this piece of garbage is up for an award and has been praised by other “reviewers,” all of whom seem to have been so blinded by the novelty of long waiting times between the game’s many decisions that they didn’t actually bother digging enough to realize that almost none of these choices actually matter.
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