Gay people are way nicer than homophobic straight people

Seriously. I don’t really know why this is, either. Maybe the long-lived stigma surrounding being gay has created a culture of understanding and tolerance around it? On the other hand, maybe they just have a super awesome secret society and kindness is how they differentiate themselves from others, like a fraternity with less hazing and a more scandalous “secret handshake.” Read more →

Paul Ryan is going to strand us on a mountain

Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney’s vice presidential pick, is a lot like a york peppermint patty; you look into his cool blue eyes and go, “Wow, this is refreshing,” then realize that you’ve been teleported to the top of the Himalayas in a t-shirt. Refreshment suddenly turns to terror as you realize that you’ve no experience with mountains, and the voice of reason begins shouting, “You idiot, you’re about to die because of a peppermint patty.” The voice becomes louder and louder as you slowly begin to succumb to the frosty clutches of the mountain, finally reaching a point where you’ve no choice but to give in entirely and embrace the oblivion that the delicious chocolate treat has condemned you to. Read more →

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