A Solution To Gun Violence

Gun violence is one of those American ills that everyone is aware of, but that no one has any idea how to fix. Maybe we’re just too stupid to solve the problem, but a large part of the issue has to do with our right to bear arms and the fact that we’d more or less be acting against it by banning guns. Meanwhile, the whole issue has become so partisan that neither side of the argument makes any sense anymore. Really, it’s simpler than most would let on—the whole crazy thing comes down to whether guns kill people or people kill people. The answer? Neither guns nor people kill people. Fingers kill people. It’s this line of thinking that has allowed me to come up with a radical solution to this all-too-prevalent problem. Read more →

Music: “Dilapidation”

Sometimes short and sweet is the way to go. Just ask any midget covered in cotton candy and they’ll tell you. This is something I came up with after wondering what it’d sound like if fire rained from the sky and took out a city, which, if my constant ESP self-training ever pans out, could very well happen. Download link below. Read more →

Music: “Winter”

I’ve always considered myself a songwriter, but lately I’ve been trying to brush up on my production skills. You know, because when you think of someone who makes women weak in the knees, you know you’re thinking of a guy with bloodshot eyes who’s messing with clashing EQ frequencies. Oh yeah. Download link below. Read more →

Random thoughts: Part 3

The following pages from my mind’s playbook are pure, unadulterated me. Consult a doctor if you experience an erection lasting more than four hours after reading. Read more →

Random thoughts: Part 2

The following bits of writing are random notes that I took late at night, edited only for spelling and grammar because i haz no grammer or speeling whn its latte. Read more →

The true-ish meaning of Christmas

Christmastime isn’t only the time of year where things become magical, but also a period of the year where people can completely lose perspective. I admit, I’ve been there. That’s when I stumbled upon a drunken homeless man who provided me with perspective as to what the true meaning of Christmas is. Also, meth. What follows is the true meaning of Christmas as revealed to me by that drunk, toothless stranger. Read more →

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