Valkyria Revolution: Progress Log #6

[Click here to start from the first progress log]

I’m determined to figure out what the purpose of capturing territory is, but these missions are awful to actually play. Imagine playing a game against the computer where you have to capture a bunch of enemy bases. Now imagine the computer had the magical ability to instantly and without warning create squads of enemies out of thin air. Now imagine that you’re slowly chipping away at a bunch of douchebags with shields and trying to find the last two enemies needed to capture one of the enemy bases, only to realize that they’re hidden at the top of a ladder. You then climb up it, get halfway to them, and instantly fail the mission because the enemy captured your base in the meantime and the “state of the war” bar or whatever went to zero. That’s Valkyria Revolution. That’s also five minutes ago because this isn’t a hypothetical scenario. I really, truly hate this garbage game right now.

I don’t even fully understand the goal

Capturing bases seems the obvious goal, but these levels also sometimes end with fights against a boss-type enemy. Is the goal to lure them out? Do you need to capture a bunch of bases to do so? I feel like these are definitely things that were covered by the game, but when you insist on barraging the player with so many tutorial popups, their education value is diminished because they become little more than white noise. You can’t throw so many concepts at players before they’ve become comfortable with the basics and expect any of it to stick. It certainly doesn’t help any that the annoying capture mission that failed gave me an objective marker while telling me to also protect my base, two things that can’t be done at the same time. Then I captured the base at the marker and no further markers showed up. Was the person who designed this game drunk or something?

Invisible walls of laziness

Oh yeah, and I wasted valuable time in this mission because Princess Weirdface got stuck on an invisible wall and was promptly gunned down by a bunch of enemies who I had run past out of pure necessity. I can never tell where my idiot companions actually are without switching to them (and doing so is a bad idea because you instantly lose track of where you areā€”the area and art design conspire to make a bunch of places look identical to each other, so it’s easy to get lost), but the invisible walls and general awkwardness bother me more than anything. Everything is constantly blocked off and linear, with rare branches in the path usually being little more than dead ends with nothing in them to justify wasting your time. Areas feel completely empty and there’s never anything to do in them except for occasionally find a cheap, unneeded item in a supply cache (even then, caches look stunningly similar to a number of other boxes that you can’t open). Exploration is a no-go because big red lines trap you inside of the mission area, and missions block off potential shortcuts with ankle-high wire and various other barricades to force you to follow a certain path. It’s puzzling that they designed this game to be so much more restrictive than Valkyria Chronicles. What was there to possibly gain?

As for the aforementioned awkwardness, imagine you’re attacking a guy, only to knock him down. You go to attack him again, but he’s fallen into the wall and your attacks suddenly can’t connect. Little things like this add up, and this game is pretty much made out of a bunch of awful little things strung together.

I figured out the frozen enemies from before

Missions where you’re helping the main army deal with things have a small handful of allies on the map. It’s suuuuuuuper confusing to see at first, but that at least explains why I couldn’t attack them. As for why they were frozen, my guess is that they were scripted to act believably up until a certain amount of progress, at which point there’d be no need to backtrack (unless the level designer was a dick and hid a ladder) and those resources could be used for more important things. Or maybe facing a certain number of enemies automatically turns allies off to maintain something resembling a decent frame rate? Probably something like that.

[Click here to go to Valkyria Revolution log #5]
[Click here to go to Valkyria Revolution log #7]

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