I don’t know why I thought that the missions didn’t have names. They show up before each mission and are a loading screen (so you can’t skip through them or anything). Call it a failure of attention span, I guess. Still, I’m going to continue giving them names. This is Mission 6: Allura Explores New Rooms And We Get Hugely Disappointed By Someone With Blue Skin Who Doesn’t Turn Out To Be A Timenoid.
This is a video of mission 6’s side story, but I actually forgot to save afterward and ended up doing the whole thing over again. The only difference between this video and my current saved game is that the guy who escaped in the video also died.
In the last progress log, I mentioned wanting to explore other rooms. I had actually bought one key before, so I bought the only other one that I could afford. Sadly, it wiped out so much of my Warl that I couldn’t pick up any new traps, but hopefully there’s some fun stuff to play with in the newly unlocked rooms.
The mission starts with Jais explaining that Graines is dead, having traded himself for some of his soldiers that Hertzog and Catalina took as hostages. Apparently Catalina’s brilliant strategy that she whispered to Hertzog was “take hostages,” and I honestly don’t know who I’m more disappointed in by that. Catalina’s plan was stupidly obvious and doesn’t reflect well on her intelligence (truly the mother Allura deserves), but the fact that Hertzog didn’t think of it first is possibly even worse.
Trapt is like Game of Thrones if every character had brain damage.
Jais then conveniently passes out as some enemy soldiers who followed him enter the mansion. I’m kind of wondering how many people are going to pass out before a mission to justify their lack of involvement before the game is over. At this rate, people are going to start tripping and knocking themselves out on loose stones.
Sophitia from Soul Calibur then bursts in and starts talking about God. I guess Catalina has the church behind her, then? I know that churches aren’t always acting in the best interests of their people—especially in fiction—but this still feels like further proof that our family has been mismanaging the country in a big way.
Rather than killing everyone on my staircase of death, I run off and let them chase me through the hallway, hoping that I end up in a room as conducive to mass slaughter as the one I left; death staircases aren’t elaborate or pretty compared to the other ways you can kill people in these games, but they’re super productive.
This will do, though it’s incredibly hard to tell where the actual room hazards are while zoomed out like that, and the “room devices” tab doesn’t say anything that hints at a Dark Illusion room trap. The first thing I try is to use a springboard to launch enemies into the lava wall thing, but they don’t get damaged by it beyond the little damage that the springboard does. Not quite sure what I’m doing wrong here.
Fortunately, I set up a buzzsaw elsewhere as a backup, and it’s positioned to launch enemies across the room into an electrified wall. That works like a charm.
Characters enter and die as usual, but then I suddenly notice that a guy is missing. It turns out that this Gordon guy ran off after taking almost no damage (usually they only run when they have low health), and he’s so far ahead of me that I can’t finish him off before he escapes. I consider resetting the mission out of irritation at his stunning cowardice, but ultimately decide to roll with the punches.
Then this Fiona character shows up. I immediately see her kind-of-bluish skin and suspect that she’s a Timenoid, but I can’t really see whether she bleeds red or blue amid the chaos of the new room. I look it up online instead and it turns out that she’s just some kind of dark mage. Welcome to Disappointment City.
“I know you’re doing the work of the devil because of your brain-damaged stupidity, but I’m sure that, genocide aside, you’re a perfectly nice person!” It turns out that stalker from earlier who we killed was right. Jais is clearly smitten with Allura for some reason. This exchange is the very definition of love goggles.
Jais decides to recruit Allura (and by extension, the devil) to help bring Catalina to justice. She agrees, but Rachel obviously protests. For once, though, Allura overrules her and decides to go along with Jais. As they leave, Rachel says Allura’s name normally. Then when they’re a little farther gone, she says it kind of evilly. The game is making no effort whatsoever to hide the fact that she can’t be trusted, and I sincerely hope that I get to stab her in her stupid face by the end of this thing.