Valkyria Revolution: Progress Log #4

[Click here to start from the first progress log]

The story recently got hit with a potent one-two punch of badness. I’m obviously not going to spoil anything, but suffice it to say that when you only introduce a small handful of characters and one is missing while you also have a super-secret masked character running around out there, it ceases to be surprising when—gasp—there turns out to be a connection. I don’t know why, but this is a trap that a lot of Japanese games seem to fall into for some reason. It might be time for the country to swear off masked characters until they learn to use them responsibly. Then we get to the second punch, which is the fact that even after starting to connect the two because of a convenient one-of-a-kind necklace never mentioned before this point, the characters are so dumb that they fail to put it together. Right now they’re all worried that this random character has the necklace that belonged to the missing person. This degree of character stupidity is an insult to everyone’s intelligence.
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Valkyria Revolution: Progress Log #3

[Click here to start from the first progress log]

A third progress log? But no one ever said there would be more than one! Whine whine whine, mope mope mope. In case you can’t tell, this is a totally natural way of bringing up the fact that Valkyria Revolution is currently embracing contrived drama over the dumbest possible things. One mission was to take over an area and then allow the enemy to flee, but the other members of my squad began to complain and act like it was some huge secret as the enemies actually fled. I guess I’m having trouble telling what the main character knows and what he’s keeping secret. It’s weird that there would be a mission briefing and then everyone would randomly be surprised or concerned after the fact. Were they not there for the briefing? It happened in the room they were sitting in. Still, there’s something weirdly entertaining about the story right now, though I’ve admittedly played Final Fantasy 8 so many times that I’ve become completely numbed to the kind of introverted, dramatic-ellipses protagonist Valkyria Revolution employs. Read more →

Valkyria Revolution: Progress Log #2

[Click here to start from the first progress log]

You know what was a bad game to play before Valkyria Revolution? Dragon’s Crown. I’ve been working on wrapping that one up, and the muscle memory I’ve built up in my ~30 hours with it is kind of profound. The problem, however, is that attacking in that game is done with square and circle, and the Xbox controller equivalents (oh yeah, I probably should have mentioned that the platform I’m playing it on is Xbox One) instead perform defensive/evasive maneuvers. This means that I keep running up to enemies and heroically… blocking at them. I also can’t wrap my head around how Dragon’s Crown’s jump button is the one used for attacking in Revolution. That’s not even the last of it; I keep trying to dodge with the right trigger, which is the lock on button. Needless to say, combat gets really, really confusing. Read more →

Valkyria Revolution: Progress Log #1

Reviews take quite some time to complete. First you’ve got to finish the game and get a good feel for it, make a ton of notes to refer to later, and then you have to sit down and write out all of those thoughts in detail. Even still, it’s hard for a review to capture the little moment-by-moment shifts in a game’s quality that start to snowball into either a positive or negative overall impression. That’s why I’m starting a new section that I’m calling my progress log where I can occasionally jot down some impressions all casual-like. Things like the observation that there’s something seriously messed up about the face they gave the princess in Valkyria Revolution. Read more →

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