Soul Calibur IV Review

The original Soul Calibur is my absolute favorite fighting game ever created, but somewhere along the way it became a disturbing teenage masturbatory fantasy. It feels like my beloved fighting game came back to me covered in body piercings and leopard-print tattoos. Sure, there’s still a little of the old game I love hidden away in Soul Calibur IV, but damn… leopard-print tattoos are hard to overlook. Read more →

Batman: Arkham City Review

Batman: Arkham City marks Mark Hamill’s final performance as the voice of the Joker, and what a way to go out. Everything that made Arkham Asylum great has been made better, and everything that made AA tedious has been removed. Beyond that, City succeeds at being a truly brilliant open-world game that captures the darker tone of Nolan’s Batman and combines it with the 90s animated series’ cast of villains and voice actors, and the result is what may come to be remembered as the greatest Batman game ever made. Read more →

Uncharted Waters: New Horizons Review

Do you often entertain fantasies of being trapped on a boat? Does Scurvy sound like fun to you? Do you ever suffer from bouts of intense nationalism that cause you to resort to piracy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I have just the game you’ve been looking for. Read more →

Jade Empire Review

Jade Empire is a great, though lesser-known, Bioware game from back when they were actually capable of making games without pissing off a multitude of fans. It also makes me feel totally racist. Some people talk with accents, others don’t, and you’re caught in the middle somewhere while trying to figure out which one is disrespectful. This is basically the kind of game you would expect a bunch of white people to make about Asian culture. Read more →

Donkey Kong Country Review

The Super Nintendo is one of the greatest consoles ever created. You can find platformers, role-playing games, shooters of every kind, sports games—everything under the sun was attempted, with varying degrees of success. Even with all of that competition, this subtext-filled game about a pedophile monkey and his underage partner (or maybe they’re just platonic friends, it’s hard to tell with monkeys) looking for their stolen “banana stash” is a major standout, and for all the right reasons. Read more →

Venetica Review

Whenever a game is said to have a lot of “heart,” I think back to horrible memories of completely broken games that weren’t worth their price. The only game that’s ever actually succeeded at having that promised “heart” is Venetica. It’s flawed and has quirks that will turn some people off, but if you can get past those problems, you’ll quickly find a game that you’ll want to play over and over again. Read more →

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