Final Fantasy 6 Review

Final Fantasy 6 is one of the games that destroyed my life. Whereas I was on track to be a productive member of society, this game became such an obsession that I neglected schoolwork growing up. It’s amayzing I turnd out soh smart, rilly.

Before JRPGs were JRPGs, they were just good games held together mostly by dialogue and stats. No cutesy fluff or fan service, just stories with memorable characters and entertaining gameplay. It’s almost painful to look at a game like FF6 and see how far the genre has fallen; even for a linear game from 1994, it provides more entertainment than most games released today. The characters were fleshed out through gameplay and dialogue rather than cutscenes, and the story was the farthest thing from predictable.

Above: Kefka wasn’t hugged enough as a child.

To start off with, Kefka is quite possibly the greatest villain of all time. He’s a megalomaniac who treats life and the living with about as much respect as a pimp shows for his “girls,” and he has absolutely no reason to be so psychotic. No explanation is given. He simply is. You’ll love him, but you’ll hate him. Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE him. It’s wonderful to have an enigmatic villain who can’t be understood and empathized with, but who is so quirky and entertaining that you can’t help but like him anyway. If such a person existed in real life, they’d work their way up to a high level of government, then simultaneously nuke every city in the entire world. Why? Just because. If you have a reason, then you’re technically not insane, right?

It’s hard to tell what he’s feeling, sometimes.

The other characters are nice, too. Celes and Locke have a good dynamic and Terra is really developed as a character… and… agh, I can’t do it. Kefka Kefka Kefka. Who brings the pain? Kefka. Who wants to see the world burn? Kefka. If not for him, the main characters would have boring lives. He’s unappreciated, especially given the fact that he’s basically like a dating website, friend adder, and carousel of pain and psychotic behavior all rolled into one. His characterization is like a treatise on how to live life to the fullest, as though he raids a random medicine cabinet daily. Is he going to experience soul-crushing depression today, or will he be manic and genocidal? There’s no way of knowing what he’ll do, and that’s why he makes the entire game worth it. Sure, there are other characters, but you’ll care about Kefka. Why? Because psychos are awesome. Psychiatric hospitals should have a designated “hug a patient” day, because we could all learn something from the insane.

“Who’s an adorable psychopath? You are!”

Oh yeah, there are other things in this game, too. Um… magic and stuff. And places. You’ll do stuff in those places, sometimes involving magic. And yeah. It’s worth mentioning that the North American version of this game is called Final Fantasy 3, despite actually being Final Fantasy 6. Number confusion… and stuff.

Okay, trying to focus. There’s an arena and a ton of characters who each have unique personalities, and they really are enjoyable. The story is linear, but there are hidden bosses and hidden items and all kinds of secret stuff in general. The story is typical enough to be accessible, but unique enough to be interesting. There’s also a scene in an opera house that’s pretty much one of the greatest moments in Final Fantasy history. So to sum up, gameplay is good. Story is good. Characters are Kefka… I mean good. Damn it.

Here’s what you should do:

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