Donkey Kong Country Review

The Super Nintendo is one of the greatest consoles ever created. You can find platformers, role-playing games, shooters of every kind, sports games—everything under the sun was attempted, with varying degrees of success. Even with all of that competition, this subtext-filled game about a pedophile monkey and his underage partner (or maybe they’re just platonic friends, it’s hard to tell with monkeys) looking for their stolen “banana stash” is a major standout, and for all the right reasons.

For one, it’s an incredible platformer that’s challenging without ever being cheap. When you hit a bee and die, it’s going to be your fault. Thing is, it’s never that difficult. The progression of the difficulty is pretty natural, so though you’ll be challenged in later levels, it won’t be so difficult that you’ll give up on the game. I mean, I’m incredibly impatient to the point where the delay between choosing a drink and the vending machine giving me that drink is rage-inducing, but that’s not something I ever experienced playing DKC.

“Durrr. What does TNT spell?”

The first time I played this was when I was quite young, so everything seemed innocent enough. After watching several hours of the news, however, it’s pretty obvious that everyone in the entire world except for me is a child predator. Even Donkey Kong is jumping on that (underage) bandwagon. Don’t believe me? Here you go:

I know, I know. “He’s just enthusiastic when riding animals and swinging around! It’s a monkey thing and doesn’t mean anything!” How about this, then? Is this a monkey thing?

Above: ENTHUSIASM

Our entire quest is in search of “bananas,” and we only know that we’ve defeated a boss when a giant banana falls from the top of the screen. It’s time to face the facts: the entire premise of the game is obviously just a convenient pretext for a sad old monkey to hang out with an underage monkey and push the limits of what’s acceptable for those with such an age gap to talk about. After all, a normal monkey would just ignore the lack of bananas and hang out with Candy Kong, who seems to be the only female monkey in the entire game.

“You got a banana! Don’t tell your parents, though, or they’ll be mad at you.”

All that aside, DKC can give you everything you want in a side-scrolling game. The worlds are colorful and unique, the animation is smooth, and the music is pretty good. You know, within the confines of the SNES. This game spawned a bunch more, so obviously the game is enjoyable. Each “world” (or section of the world, I guess) consists of several levels, some of which being completely new ideas and others feeling like new takes on previous levels. That means that even if you’re completely frustrated by a level, chances are you won’t have to deal with that level over and over again to get to the next section of the game.

There are so many good games on the SNES that it’s ridiculous, but this one stands tall even in the face of all that competition. It’s bizarre and some of the animations are clearly a bit over-the-top, but the gameplay is so smooth and the game so lovable that you can’t help but enjoy it.

Here’s what you should do:

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