Conflict: Desert Storm Review

I remember playing through Conflict: Desert Storm (either on the Gamecube or PS2—I honestly don’t remember which anymore) with my younger brother years and years and years ago. There was something strangely fun about playing through the whole game in co-op, helping each other with what we perceived to be a brutally challenging game. Looking back on it now with several games like it under my belt, I see now that it wasn’t really a difficult game so much as it just sucked. Desert Storm is quite possibly one of the worst games I’ve ever played through, and how my brother and I ever managed to finish the game is beyond me.

This will be short

I want to stress that I’ve finished this game before and know that there are no redeeming aspects that make it all worth it later on. In fact, I actually remember it being less fun the more we played, with the early levels being the “fun” ones. The reason I stress my previous completion of the game is that it’s such a mess that, returning to the game after many years, I couldn’t even get through the first level without quitting in disgust. Because the game’s faults are so overwhelming and irritating, I’ll make this review mercifully short.

It controls like a drunk tank

Not only is Conflict: Desert Storm ugly (and brown) as hell, but the controls make the uncomfortable control scheme seen in the Resident Evil series and Jade Cocoon seem like a good idea by way of comparison; while movement in Desert Storm is the same as in most games, the developers of this game have somehow managed to make it feel wrong across the board. For example, aiming accurately is virtually impossible due to the exaggerated momentum that kicks in when you move your crosshairs, and moving your character somehow manages to be equally awkward. I can honestly say that I’ve never in my entire life played a game with worse controls than this one.

There are no redeeming aspects to this game

Co-op is the closest Desert Storm comes to doing something right, but there’s a reason they say that misery loves company. In actuality, this is a poor game that’s made only slightly less horrible by dragging another person along to suffer through the awful control scheme with you. However, if you’re the kind of person who would wish this game upon your friends, make no mistake—you’re a horrible friend.

In summary

I’m 100% sure that playing through more levels would have allowed me to find even more crippling flaws. For example, I remember one of the earlier levels having a sniper that kills you before you even see him. This was something my brother and I had to avoid by repeatedly trying to avoid his bullets, eventually memorizing the point where the sniper started shooting, and running wildly once we reached that point. In hindsight, frantic zig-zagging to avoid cheap deaths isn’t fun, and how we ever managed to derive amusement from this game is a mystery. It’s simply not a good game by any stretch of the imagination.

Here’s what you should do:

Conflict: Desert Storm

Screenshots of this horrible game

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