Darksiders Review

What do you get when you mix Zelda and God of War? Banal, overacted garbage that takes itself too seriously while failing to deliver even the smallest amount of fun. This is quite possibly one of the most derivative, overrated games ever made. Unoriginality isn’t its only flaw, though: The story is ridiculous and a huge waste of potential, the controls are absolutely worthless, the PC version of the game is so lacking in every way that I would actually be surprised if they put any work into it, and from beginning to end, the whole thing is filled with meaningless fluff. Read more →

Saints Row The Third Review

There’s something to be said for insanity. For every person who leads a safe, sane life that makes perfect sense, there’s another who’s shotgunning Jagermeister and setting themselves on fire for fun, somehow having the time of their life in the process. Saints Row 3 will definitely appeal more to the latter than the former, because this game is absolutely insane. Read more →

Infinity Blade Review

Older games had a fairly straightforward approach to progression: You fought monsters until your level and abilities went up a bit, then you progressed with the story. Infinity Blade has done away with that silly story aspect and given us nothing but the grind. No reward, no actual story, just fighting random monsters so that you’re strong enough to fight other random monsters. Seriously, all this game consists of is endless grinding. I bought this back when it was full price because thousands of people were giving it five stars out of five, and I was under the impression that such a large group of people couldn’t possibly be wrong. Turns out that thousands of people have absolutely no taste. Read more →

The Witcher 2: Enhanced Edition Review

The Witcher 2: Enhanced Edition is a rough-cut diamond—captivatingly beautiful, but so unpredictably pain-inducing at times that some will lament that very beauty. Many of its facets are spit-shined to a kind of perfection few in gaming history have managed, but others are so unpolished and broken that they’ll drive you to madness (and profanity-laced rants that conjugate four-letter words in ways they were never meant to be conjugated). The net result of all of this is that the quality of the game varies wildly throughout, constantly teetering between perfection and frustration like some kind of demonic gaming see-saw. What you look for and expect to get out of the games you play will be the determining factors that dictate which end of that see-saw you’ll be faced with once all is said and done. Read more →

Skyrim Review

There’s one thing I ask of games, and that’s to immerse me in another world. What is immersion, though? It varies from person to person, and where you personally draw that line will determine how you view a game like Skyrim. Read more →

Batman: Arkham City Review

Batman: Arkham City marks Mark Hamill’s final performance as the voice of the Joker, and what a way to go out. Everything that made Arkham Asylum great has been made better, and everything that made AA tedious has been removed. Beyond that, City succeeds at being a truly brilliant open-world game that captures the darker tone of Nolan’s Batman and combines it with the 90s animated series’ cast of villains and voice actors, and the result is what may come to be remembered as the greatest Batman game ever made. Read more →

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