Far Cry 2 Review

I have one positive thing to say about Far Cry 2: unlike most games, it has zebras. Outside of that single contribution, however, it’s one of the most mindless, tedious, unbearable games ever released. What makes it especially painful is the promise it squanders at every possibility. Sure, it supposedly offers you a chance to sneak around a vast African landscape and stealthily take out enemies, but stealth is broken. Sure, you can try to go into every situation guns-blazing, but respawning checkpoints full of bloodthirsty enemies who follow you ensure that you’ll end up losing tons of ammo and health just getting from point A to point B. There’s really no “right” way to play Far Cry 2 because everything is so laughably broken and backward that it fails to be fun in any sense of the word. Read more →

Rise of the Argonauts Review

Rise of the Argonauts is kind of like a wounded animal—sure, it may be missing a few pieces and have a tendency to bite you with various bugs and glitches, but you can’t help but love it. The game sends you to several different locations in a decidedly Bioware-esque way, and while it strives to be its own game, the whole thing feels like an unofficial sequel to Jade Empire (or some kind of melee-weapon, mythological version of Mass Effect). That’s not a bad thing, though, because despite having a million and a half shortcomings, Rise of the Argonauts ends up being a ridiculously amusing game. Read more →

Prototype Review

Prototype is one of the first games I played after building my gaming PC several years ago, and it’s probably the game that first made me feel like the effort involved in doing so was totally worth it. Not that it’s perfect or incredible or anything—it has plenty of flaws that ensure that you’ll eventually forget all about it—but the game allows for so much freedom that you can’t help but love every moment you spend with it despite its many, many annoyances. Read more →

Valkyrie Profile: Covenant of the Plume Review

Some people like to hurt themselves. It’s just a fact of life. Whether it’s wearing pink sweat pants or actively hammering nails into their skull, there are those out there who live for inflicting pain on themselves for no reason apart from the simple joy of overcoming it. These are the people who will find Valkyrie Profile: Covenant of the Plume appealing, because Covenant is a challenging game that becomes outright sadistic toward the end. Read more →

Luminous Arc Review

Luminous Arc is a decent game that’s better than public opinion of it would tend to imply. It is, however, plagued by a number of issues, the most prominent being that its combat is way too similar to Final Fantasy Tactics. There are a million games out there that “borrow” that kind of isometric, turn-based combat, and I simply can’t understand why; it’s a system plagued by menu after tiresome menu (many that amount to little more than “are you super super sure that you want to do that?”) that do little to add depth. This approach to gameplay is cumbersome and vastly inferior to the way Fire Emblem handles the Strategy RPG genre. Apart from that flaw, however, this is actually a pretty good game. Read more →

King Arthur: The Role-Playing Wargame Review

King Arthur: The Role-Playing Wargame isn’t the kind of game I normally buy. To say that real-time strategy games aren’t my forte would be to understate just how bad I am at them, and that RTS ineptitude typically prevents me from experiencing any kind of enjoyment from the genre. However, I do have a love affair of sorts with text-based, choose-your-own-adventure gameplay. There’s just something about them that’s totally sexy, and their presence in King Arthur made the game impossible to resist. Buying this was kind of like getting involved with a succubus in that I expected things to end badly, but was so enchanted that I went in anyway. Read more →

© 1886 - 2017 KILLAPENGUIN.com Privacy Policy & Contact