Secret of Evermore Review

Secret of Evermore is a game that I’ve never beaten. Not only have I failed on multiple occasions to get more than fifteen minutes into it, but it’s so monotonous and mediocre that spending more time than that with it ended up making me angry at Squaresoft; from the game’s mechanics to its characters, everything about Evermore is a complete and utter mess. Of course, this isn’t really a surprise once you look up its history—this was apparently an attempt by Squaresoft’s USA branch to make a successful game by ripping off the popular Secret of Mana and trying to Americanize it. It feels like the cheap knockoff it is as a result, though what hurts more than anything is the sheer potential Evermore fails to live up to. Read more →

Vanguard Bandits Review

Imagine that some people made a game and a bunch of insane people escaped from an asylum to do the translation for it, subsequently transforming the original vision of that game into something bordering on self-parody. That’s pretty much Vanguard Bandits in a nutshell. What would otherwise be a boring, formulaic story is transformed into a springboard for pervy humor and colorful dialogue, and all of this is held together by a turn-based system that’s far more creative and clever than it first appears. Read more →

Front Mission 3 Review

Front Mission 3 seemed like the perfect game to kick off my sRPG-focused October with. After all, I remembered playing through part of it years ago and liking it, so why not? Picking up a copy on Amazon for 5 bucks (shipping included) seemed like fate telling me that it should be the first game on my list. What fate neglected to mention at the time was just how ridiculously long this game is; my playthrough of the game’s short path lasted well over 30 hours, and the other path is apparently so long that it could easily take 50 hours to finish. All together, there are something like 120-130 missions in the game. Read more →

Baldur’s Gate Review

These days, the best thing that can be said of the original Baldur’s Gate is that you’re able to import your character into Baldur’s Gate 2. Apart from that, however, the game has aged so poorly that it’s barely relevant, an outdated and clumsy attempt to do something that has since been done far better. Once upon a time, this game apparently revitalized people’s interest in computer RPGs. How such a boring and tedious game could ever accomplish such a feat is beyond me. Read more →

Super Mario RPG Review

When I started this site, there was this unspoken rule that I wound up sticking to: “don’t review Mario games.” The reason for this was fairly simple—most everyone has either played or heard of pretty much every Mario game ever made, so I’d be helping absolutely no one. That being said, Nintendo has really been forcing Mario down everyone’s throat in an attempt to sell their new stuff, and it’s gotten to the point where the games aren’t even fun anymore. What’s especially sad about this is that some of the best Mario games out there are being totally forgotten in the deluge of new, unimaginative stuff. Super Mario RPG is one of those forgotten games, a Square-developed RPG that’s not only one of the best games for the Super Nintendo, but one of the best Mario games, period. Read more →

Fallout 2 Review

Here’s something that I’ve heard a lot: “I enjoyed the first Fallout the most, but the second game is probably the better game.” Thing is, I played all of the Fallout games (including the newer ones) for the first time within a span of a year or so, meaning there’s no nostalgia in how I view a game like Fallout 2. While a lot of older games are just objectively better than their newer equivalents when compared side by side, Fallout 2 is a mess of antiquated mechanics, frustrating quest design, and endless bugs. There’s no place in gaming for such a disaster of a game, and I’ll never understand why it’s so revered. Read more →

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